Amor Fati: Leaning in to Divorce

Embracing Change: The Art of Letting Go

There’s a phrase I love, one that feels especially powerful in the uncertain space of divorce. I have have identified with it many times before I even knew the phrase or could articulate it properly.

It’s a Latin term from the Stoics: Amor Fati.

It means “love of fate.”

It is not just accepting what happens to us, but embracing it as if we had chosen it, even when it is breaking us apart.

Divorce shatters the picture of how life was supposed to be. For me it felt a little like putting all the elements of my life on a rug and then throwing it all up in the air. Staring up at it. Wondering where it would all land.

It can bring up feelings of loss, rage, shame, grief, or a deep seated fear of the unknown.

It often asks us to re-examine everything: Who am I now? What matters? What was real? What comes next?

In the early stages, this experience can feel anything but lovable.

It can feel like a mistake, a failure, a painful detour.

But Amor Fati invites a bold and liberating idea:

What if nothing has gone wrong? What if this heartbreak is not a breakdown, but the beginning of a transformation?

The Wisdom in What Wasn’t Chosen

Amor Fati doesn’t ask us to bypass grief or pretend we’re not hurting. It asks us to hold the loss and the learning, the pain and the possibility and to say: “This is part of my story. I choose to love it anyway.”

It’s a shift from resistance to reverence. It goes from “This shouldn’t be happening” to “This is happening, and I am open to what it might teach me.”

Divorce as a Catalyst

Many of my clients discover that, through the process of letting go, they begin to reclaim themselves and discover a strength they never knew they had. They reconnect with values they’d forgotten and they begin to choose their path, not just react.

That’s Amor Fati in motion. Loving your fate doesn’t mean loving the hurt. It means loving what’s becoming possible because of it.

If you’re in the midst of divorce, ask yourself these three questions gently:

💡 What am I learning about myself through this?

💡 What values or truths are coming back into focus?

💡 If this were happening for me, not to me, what might it be inviting?

These aren’t quick-fix questions. They are slow-burn truths, ones that unfold over time.

You don't have to love what happened, but you can learn to love the version of yourself that is rising from it.

You can acknowledge that whilst you wouldn't have chosen this for yourself, you can trust in the way that it is shaping you moving forward.

That is Amor Fati ❤️

If you're going through a divorce and my words resonate with you,

you might like to explore working with me. Book your free Clarity Call today and discover

how coaching can provide the support and guidance you need to

create a fulfilling life after divorce.